How a Sacred Space Pointed Me Back to Jesus

Blog by Gem Fadling

Alan and I have mentioned before that a part of our calling is to “share our lives.” This has been a clear paradigm since our late twenties. Now, more than thirty-five years later, it seems truer than ever.

I think you can tell by our writing that we aren’t simply trying to pass on concepts or mere knowledge. Our hope is that we are sharing our collective wisdom gathered over decades of walking with God.

It’s a simple premise, really, and I hope it gives weight to what we say. It matters to me when someone has lived into that which they speak. Sharing our experiences and earned wisdom is a beautiful way to deeply connect with others.

Today I’d like to share a personal story of connection with God the last time I was at one of my favorite sites: San Damiano in Assisi, Italy. It is an extraordinary place, as it is where St. Clare lived and where she died in 1253.

My favorite location in the Sanctuary is Clare’s personal prayer room (see the image below). She had it specially created for her use. I’ve always walked reverently through this room, but that day I decided to sit down in the back corner and journal for a bit.

I noticed people walking through as though it were just another room. They looked up and around and kept moving. They didn’t even stop to read the informational sign that described the room’s history. I silently judged them for missing the importance of this space. (Not my best moment, I know.)

When I woke up to my critical thoughts, I realized Clare likely would not have wanted people to venerate her anyway.

As I sat on the firm stone floor, I attempted to breathe in something of Clare’s air. I wanted to soak up her presence from the ground on which I sat and where she had likely knelt.

What did Clare say to God here? What did God speak to her here? What did she experience?

She had given up a life of nobility and wealth, trading it for a scratchy, woolen tunic. She chose simplicity and discomfort. She cloistered herself in obscurity and yet became highly influential among religious and political leaders, including the Pope, who visited San Damiano and blessed the communion bread.

Clare was such a determined and dynamic woman. I’m sure she must have focused her energy on that which mattered most. I wanted that for me. And I was trying to gather it from Clare in her prayer room.

As I continued to linger in the space, I noticed a shift inside my heart. Rather than trying to get something from Clare, I sensed a redirection toward Jesus. I could feel the tug in my heart.

Maybe I couldn’t fully connect to Clare in that room because she wouldn’t want that (plus she had been gone a very long time). I think she would say, “Look to Jesus. Breathe his air, sense his presence—in this room, on the grounds here, and wherever you go.”

In the middle of trying to find something of Clare to hold on to, to be inspired and moved by, my head was lifted up to the mountains where my true help comes from—Jesus himself.

What a gift that moment was! I had entered the room trying to receive something from Clare, and I left it reconnected to Jesus in a fresh way. A prayer bubbled up from within:

“Jesus, I soak up your air. I engage and receive your presence. Thank you that you are the same for me as you were for Clare. I receive YOU. Thank you!”

Now, this might seem an odd story to you, but I wanted to share it so you could catch a glimpse into a real time of prayer and journaling.

My connection to the Trinity is quiet and simple these days. There are no heroic moves. Just small shifts here and there that keep me on the Kingdom Road.

And I’m grateful that in so many ways, the Trinity calls me back to themselves—the Father, Son, and Spirit—always pointing to one another and calling me to join in their loving community.

If Clare were actually in the room with me, she most certainly would have pointed me to Jesus whom she loved and adored so fully.

For now, I can follow in her footsteps by offering you the same invitation.

For Reflection: 

• What would it look like for you to focus on Jesus right now?
• What people or circumstances might be getting in the way of your focus on him?
• How could you turn your heart more fully toward Jesus, his love and his ways?