What Your Soul Garden Teaches About Spiritual Formation

Blog by the Unhurried Living Team

 Every soul garden holds both flowers we planted on purpose and ones that simply showed up uninvited, and spiritual formation often begins the moment we stop deciding which is which. When something unwanted grows in the middle of a carefully planned life, the instinct is to pull it out. But what if the very thing interrupting your plans is the thing quietly shaping your character?

That question sits at the center of this reflection, and it is worth sitting with before rushing toward an answer.

Why Do Life Interruptions Feel Like Setbacks Instead of Gifts?

Life interruptions rarely arrive at a convenient time. A phone call, a delay, an unexpected conversation, these life interruptions tend to land right in the middle of a plan we had already settled on, and the first response is almost always irritation. Gem Fadling, co-founder of Unhurried Living, described this pattern through a memory from her childhood on a small farm in Washington, where dandelions and purple clover grew freely across her family's yard.

She did not yet know those flowers were weeds. She only knew they were beautiful, and that innocence became the doorway into a much larger question about how quickly we assign labels to what crosses our path.

Henry Nouwen, in his book Reaching Out, suggested that our interruptions are not obstacles at all but opportunities, chances for an inner response that leads us toward a fuller way of being. Gem built on that idea by naming how quickly most of us categorize what shows up in our lives as either welcome or unwelcome, useful or in the way. Life interruptions get filed under "unwelcome" almost automatically, long before we have asked what they might be forming in us.

Today, try naming one current interruption without judging it; simply write down what is happening and ask what it might be developing in you.

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How Do I Start Reframing Difficult Circumstances?

Reframing difficult circumstances begins with a simple, honest question: who decided this was a weed in the first place? Gem asked exactly that about the dandelions in her yard, wondering aloud what makes a dandelion less desirable than a tulip. She admitted she is not a gardener, only what she called a semi-philosopher, but the question still holds weight for anyone tired of instantly ranking their circumstances as good or bad.

Reframing difficult circumstances does not mean pretending hardship is pleasant. It means questioning the speed of the verdict. Gem pointed out that a rose in full bloom is easy to admire, while a small yellow flower trampled underfoot rarely gets a second look, yet both are still alive and still growing.

She wondered what quiet, hidden growth might be happening beneath the surface of the very things we are tempted to trample. As a small practice today, pick one hard conversation or unwanted delay from this week and simply say, "This is happening," instead of immediately calling it bad.

You do not have to figure out every hard circumstance alone; a trained soul care guide is ready to listen, so connect here for a conversation about what is forming in your own life right now. 

What Does Unhurried Living Look Like in Ordinary Days?

Unhurried living is not about slowing your calendar down until nothing happens. It is about slowing your judgments down long enough to actually see what is happening. Gem traced this back to her own childhood, when she spent hours lying in the grass watching butterflies and bees without ranking any of it, and she wondered how much of spiritual formation is really about recovering that same unhurried sight rather than becoming a more efficient critic of her own life.

She offered three small, practical shifts anchored in unhurried living. First, name one so-called weed in your life this week and ask what it might be forming in you, whether patience, compassion, flexibility, or deeper dependence on God. Second, delay your labeling for a day or even a week, resisting the urge to instantly call something bad or wrong.

Third, invite God into the garden itself, asking him to show you how he sees the situation rather than assuming you already know. Unhurried living, Gem suggested, is less about becoming a stricter gardener and more about becoming a more patient and discerning one.

Every soul garden eventually reveals what has been growing in the quiet, whether we were watching for it or not. Gem's own soul garden, tended without pressure since childhood, taught her that delight often arrives before understanding does. An unhurried soul garden is not tidier than a hurried one; it is simply more honest about what is actually there, weeds, wildflowers, and all.

Finding Spiritual Growth in Life's Interruptions: What Changes When We Stop Judging So Fast?

Finding spiritual growth in life's interruptions often starts exactly where this table begins, with a willingness to question the first assumption before accepting it as fact.

A Word for Every Weary Leader, Wherever You Are Serving

If you are leading a ministry, a team, or simply your own household through a season that feels more interrupted than planned, you are not alone in that frustration. Leaders everywhere, whether pastoring a small congregation, directing a nonprofit, or simply trying to hold a family together, tend to carry the same instinct to label anything unplanned as a threat to their progress. This reflection is for every one of those leaders, regardless of where they serve or what their calendar looks like this week.

The invitation to see interruptions differently belongs to anyone tired of running their soul garden like a strict inspection rather than a place of grace.

The Quiet Growth Beneath What We Almost Pulled Up

Gem Fadling's reflection closes not with a resolved problem but with an open invitation to notice what might be quietly forming beneath the surface of an ordinary week. She did not know, as a little girl blowing dandelion seeds into the wind, that she was practicing spiritual formation all along; she was simply delighting in what was already there. That same delight, she suggested, may be closer to spiritual maturity than our instinct to judge ever was.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I stop judging difficult situations too quickly? A: Start by simply naming what is happening without attaching a label like good or bad. Gem Fadling suggests pausing before you categorize an unwanted situation, giving yourself a day or even a week to just observe it. That small delay creates space for a different perspective to emerge.

Q: Can frustrating detours be part of spiritual formation? A: Yes, according to Henry Nouwen's idea that interruptions can serve as opportunities rather than obstacles. A detour that disrupts your plans may also be shaping patience, compassion, or a deeper trust in God. The detour itself is not the point; what it forms in you is.

Q: What if my interruptions are actually opportunities for growth? A: Treating interruptions as potential opportunities does not require pretending they feel good in the moment. It simply means staying curious about what an unwanted situation might be developing in your character rather than assuming it is only a problem. That curiosity is often where growth quietly begins.

Q: Why does childlike wonder matter for adult spiritual growth? A: Childlike wonder allows you to notice beauty and meaning without immediately ranking or judging what you see. Gem Fadling connects this quality to her own childhood memories of delighting in dandelions and clover without knowing they were considered weeds. Recovering that same unhurried sight can soften the instinct to judge circumstances too quickly as adults.

Q: How can I invite God into a frustrating circumstance instead of just enduring it? A: Rather than treating a hard circumstance as something to survive alone, acknowledge that God is already present within it. Ask him to show you how he sees the situation, not as its source but as a companion within it. Gem Fadling notes that perspective often changes most within that relationship, not through willpower alone.