Living With Unfinished Things: The Spiritual Practice of Entrusting

Blog by Gem Fadling

In part 1 of this two-part message, we explored the Zeigarnik effect and the way our brains tend to keep unfinished tasks psychologically active. (Be sure to read that first if you haven’t already.) Simply making a trusted plan gives the brain permission to stop rehearsing what needs to be done.

But not every open tab can be put on a calendar or checked off a to-do list. In matters of deeper healing, it’s good to move at the pace of grace and transformation.

Relational and inner struggles typically can’t be resolved by just having a better plan. They unfold over time. Along the way, perhaps what we need is a practice of releasing.

How might we bring this into our own language of spiritual formation, leaning into the way God has made our brains and bodies? Spiritual formation invites us into an even deeper form of entrusting.

Psychology can explain why our brains keep rehearsing unfinished business and why a trusted plan eases that mental tension. With spiritual formation we can go a step further to ask, What might I entrust to God today because it isn't actually mine to resolve?

We can stay in the present moment by asking ourselves, Which of these open tabs is God actually inviting me to attend to today, and which ones can I place into his hands?

And, yes, even for important relational and mental health dynamics, I can still use a calendar or a to-do list if necessary. I can make a plan and entrust that plan to God in a new way that brings more freedom to my heart and mind.

My brain can rest a bit. It no longer needs to remember and rehearse everything. I have made a plan, and it can let go. The pressure begins to ease.

I have often thought peace will come only when everything is done. But everything is never done!

Maybe peace comes when things have been entrusted.

This can be especially difficult when other people are involved. We cannot control others’ choices or responses. But we can prayerfully discern our own next faithful step and entrust to God what belongs to them.

Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you."

In Matthew 11:28 Jesus doesn’t say,  "Finish every task and then come to me." No, his invitation is, "Come to me...and I will give you rest."

I don’t think it’s a stretch to suggest that rest is possible even while many things remain unresolved. In the middle of it all, I can practice casting my cares on the Lord and coming to Jesus.

Our brains were designed to keep unfinished tasks at the forefront of our awareness. This is a gift. But given how our current culture and way of life bombard us with hundreds of unfinished obligations, that gift can also feel like constant pressure.

There is no way to complete everything. Something else always pops up. But we can discern which tabs God is inviting us to keep open today, entrusting him to tend the rest.

And let’s acknowledge the difference between a work task and a relationship or inner work task. These are more difficult and ongoing, and I believe we can still attend to them with grace and patience.

• An unresolved conflict
• A difficult conversation you've been avoiding
• Grief you haven't processed
• A decision you're postponing
• A question you can't answer
• A dream that feels out of reach

Such long-term “tabs” might be better addressed when we make the space and time to process. That’s why contemplative spiritual practices are so good for us and why it’s not good to let fear keep us from becoming more aware. When we are still and quiet, these issues bubble to the surface so we can address them in God’s presence.

Our minds may long for immediate closure, but our souls often need permission to move at the pace of grace.

God invites us to gently notice our fear of the unknown and, over time, to grow in our trust of his nurturing, loving, parental presence. We can allow these things to be seen by us and by God so that the tab may find some rest and be released for the moment.

And we don’t have to tend to these deeper places alone. There is grace in having companionship along the way: a safe small group, a spiritual director, a therapist, or a trusted friend. May God be with you on your holy journey.

I wonder if our overwhelm is not always a sign that we actually have too much to do. Sometimes it’s a sign that we are trying to carry too much in our minds and hearts, and that has a compounding effect on our souls.

God does not ask us to remember, resolve, or accomplish everything. He invites us to walk with him today, attending to what is ours to carry and entrusting him with what is not. “Come to me…” ”Follow me…”

At the end of the day, the question isn't, Did I finish everything?

The better question is, Did I soulfully attend to what Love invited me to do today?

If we can answer that question with a quiet yes, then maybe we've discovered something much deeper than productivity.

Maybe we've begun to live unhurried.

The goal of the Christian life is not to become increasingly efficient. It is to become increasingly available to God.

And even here there is grace. Some days we will discern well; other days we won't. Tomorrow we are invited to listen and begin again.

As we learn to notice the pressure we carry, make wise plans for what is ours to do, and entrust the rest into God's care, something begins to change within us. The constant hum of anxiety quiets. We discover that we can live with unfinished work without becoming unfinished people.

The tabs may not all close, but our hearts can finally rest.

For Reflection: 

• What unfinished or unresolved situation continues to take up space in your mind and heart? Notice what happens within you as you bring it into God’s presence.
• What part of this situation is actually yours to attend to, and what lies outside your control? What might Love be inviting you to do, or not do, today?
• What would it look like to entrust what remains unfinished to God for now? Sit quietly with open hands and imagine placing what you cannot resolve into God’s loving care.

Gem Fadling is a founding partner of Unhurried Living, Inc., a non-profit that trains people to rest deeper, live fuller and lead better. She is a trained Spiritual Director and a Certified Life Coach who trains people at the intersection of spiritual leadership and soul care. She co-leads PACE, a two-year leadership formation journey that helps leaders live and lead from spiritual depth rather than depletion. Gem is the co-host of the Unhurried Living Podcast as well as the author of Hold That Thought and co-author of What Does Your Soul Love? Her work has appeared in Propel Women and Our Daily Bread. To connect with Gem and find resources for soul care and leadership, visit unhurriedliving.com or find her on Instagram and LinkedIn.