Practicing Presence of God in a Distracted Age with Jay Kim

Blog by the Unhurried Living Team

Practicing presence of God in a distracted age begins with noticing where your attention actually goes and gently offering it back to Him. Jay Kim, lead pastor at Westgate Church in Silicon Valley, points to the daily Examen (a simple end-of-day prayer from Ignatius of Loyola) as a practical way to recover that attention. Over time, the practice trains us to notice God not only in quiet moments but in the ordinary middle of our days.

Most of us know the experience Jay names as absence. Your body sits in one meeting while your mind rehearses the next, and your attention keeps getting pulled toward whatever lights up your phone. You can move through an entire day without ever quite being present in it.

In this conversation with Alan Fadling, co-founder and president of Unhurried Living, Jay shares from his new book, The Pace of Peace: Distraction, Attention, and the Gifts of an Examined Life. He does not stop at diagnosing our scattered condition. He offers a way forward.

The invitation is not to escape your life for a more spiritual one. It is to recover the capacity to be present to God, to yourself, and to the people right in front of you, one attentive step at a time.

How Does Digital Distraction Pull Your Attention Away from God?

Jay Kim did not begin with a theory about digital distraction. His book opens with the story of rear-ending another car; his hands were on the wheel, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. From that moment, he arrived at a definition that stings a little: "Distraction is the embodied expression of absence."

Jay admits that for years, the speed of his life did not begin with his calendar or task list. It began in the fracturing and scattering of his attention. He came to see that a deep life and a fast life cannot coexist, and that a deep life grows slowly, like seeds hidden in the soil (you cannot microwave an orange).

Part of what makes digital distraction so persistent is that attention is finite. Like a runner on a long trail, it tires, and the devices in our pockets are designed to draw on it constantly; social commentators call this the attention economy. Every morning, we wake into a world built to compete for what we notice.

Why does this matter spiritually? Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck taught that attention is the form love takes in the world, and Christian psychiatrist Kurt Thompson observes that every person is born looking for someone looking for them. When digital distraction claims our attention, it quietly competes for our love.

This is where practicing presence of God begins: with noticing. Today, make one small pre-decision; the next time you reach for your phone, pause for one breath and offer that moment of attention to God with a simple prayer, "Here I am."

If you want help retraining your attention, our library of books and mini courses can support that work, and you can find it here.

Where Can You Find Spiritual Presence in an Ordinary Day?

Early in the book, Jay returns to God's first question to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3: "Where are you?" Alan notes that this is less a question of location than of presence. Jay believes God is still asking it every time we drift from awareness of His loving nearness.

This is part of why so many people love Brother Lawrence, the seventeenth-century Carmelite lay brother whose letters became The Practice of the Presence of God. People often picture him as a serene sage on a hillside; in reality, he spent most days washing dishes and, later, repairing the other monks' sandals. For Brother Lawrence, spiritual presence was not something he practiced before or after the work; he practiced it within the work.

Jay points out that nearly all of life happens in conditions that are less than ideal for noticing God. If we wait for the perfect retreat or the quiet season, we will spend our lives waiting. Practicing presence of God, then, is learning to notice Him while picking up the kids, sitting in traffic, or doing the taxes.

Alan named the hopeful truth underneath this: there is not some other life. We tell ourselves that after this project or after retirement, then we will draw near to God and see our families more. Yet whatever follows the word "then" is not the life God has given you now, and as Dallas Willard, the philosopher and author, taught, the present is the only place God can meet us.

Spiritual presence, in other words, is not reserved for better circumstances. It is available in this one.

Choose one ordinary task today, such as washing dishes or walking to your car, and let it become a place of spiritual presence. As you begin, quietly ask, "Lord, where are You here?" and let the question stay with you until the task is done.

You do not have to figure this out alone; a trained spiritual director or formation coach can help you notice God in your ordinary days, and you can connect here.

What Does It Mean to Live at the Pace of Peace?

When Jay listens to people in his congregation, almost everyone says life moves too fast, and almost everyone wishes for a different pace. Many assume that means more leisure. Yet those who take one more great vacation often return to the same life, feeling no more at rest.

Jay has come to see that peace is not about leisure. The Hebrew word shalom is deeply relational, speaking of well-being within our relationship with God and others. The pace of peace, he says, is the pace of deep communion with a God who moves at the speed of love.

That communion took shape for Jay through the daily Examen. He and his wife, Jenny, pray a family version with their children most nights, lighting a candle at the dining table as a reminder that Christ is the light of the world. Jay admits most nights feel ordinary, even dull, yet over the years the prayer became a window to his whole world.

Gratitude opened that window during one of the hardest seasons of his life. For about six years, Jay and Jenny wrestled with infertility, and pregnancy announcements from dear friends stirred a bitterness they did not want to feel. He learned that you cannot wait to feel grateful before practicing gratitude; the practice itself loosens the grip of striving.

Jay also finds the pace of peace in Gethsemane, where Jesus prayed honestly, "Take this cup from me," and then surrendered, "Not as I will, but as you will." God's deepest desire, Jay says, is not our comfort but union with us. Surrender is how our desires are slowly reshaped to want what He wants most.

Tonight, before you sleep, name one specific moment from today you are grateful for, even if gratitude feels forced. This is one movement of the daily Examen, and it can become your first step into the pace of peace.

How the Daily Examen Guides You Toward Recovering Presence in a Distracted Age

Jay describes the daily Examen, first taught by Ignatius of Loyola (founder of the Society of Jesus, the Jesuits), as a prayer of five simple movements. Each one gently moves us from a hurried default toward the way of Jesus. Together, they offer a practical frame for practicing presence of God throughout the day, not only at its end.

1. Presence

The Practice: Invite God by His Spirit to make you aware that He is here.

The Freedom It Offers: It moves you from distraction toward attention.

2. Gratitude

The Practice: Thank God for one particular moment or experience from the day.

The Freedom It Offers: It loosens the grip of striving, comparison, and bitterness.

3. Reflection

The Practice: Hold anything painful or hard from the day before God.

The Freedom It Offers: It releases you from knee-jerk reactivity and the pressure to resolve everything at once.

4. Confession

The Practice: Name honestly where you fell short or hurt someone.

The Freedom It Offers: It lets you receive grace in real time instead of carrying the weight alone.

5. Seeking God's Will

The Practice: Ask for God's help and surrender your desires to His.

The Freedom It Offers: It turns self-will toward union with God.

Wherever You Lead, There Is Room for a Different Pace

Many leaders carry a quiet exhaustion that no vacation seems to touch, and the pull of distraction follows them from the office to the dinner table. Unhurried Living exists for that kind of weariness. Whether you lead a congregation in a small town or a nonprofit in a crowded city, and whether you listen close to home or from one of the 145 nations the podcast reaches, you are welcome to learn this slower pace alongside others.

Giving Your Attention to the God Who Gives His Attention to You

Jay Kim reminds us that the speed of our lives often begins in our scattered attention, and that God meets us only in the present, in the life we actually have. The daily Examen offers a simple, repeatable way of practicing presence of God, one attentive step after another. As Dallas Willard said, what God most gets out of your life is the person you become; may you give your attention to the God who gives His attention to you.

For a steady weekly rhythm of reflection, the Pause & Center email is a gentle companion for weary leaders; sign up here. The Unhurried Daily Email offers 40 days of devotional reflection to help you practice what Jay describes, and you can get started here.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How can I stop being distracted and focus on God?
A: Start by noticing where your attention actually goes, without shame. Jay Kim suggests small pre-decisions, such as pausing for one breath before reaching for your phone and offering that moment to God. Over time, these small returns retrain your attention toward His presence.

Q: What is the Ignatian Examen and how does it work?
A: The Ignatian Examen is a prayer developed by Ignatius of Loyola, usually prayed at the end of the day. It moves through five movements: presence, gratitude, reflection, confession, and seeking God's will. Many people find it gradually shapes how they notice God throughout the whole day.

Q: How do I slow down and be more present?
A: Jay Kim suggests that slowing down begins less with your calendar and more with your attention. Choose one ordinary task, such as washing dishes, and practice noticing God within it, as Brother Lawrence did. Presence grows through small, repeated moments rather than dramatic changes.

Q: Is the pace of peace the same as living a more leisurely life?
A: No. Jay explains that biblical peace, or shalom, is relational rather than recreational. The pace of peace is deep communion with a God who moves at the speed of love, which often feels slower than we would choose.

Q: Can families pray the Examen together?
A: Yes. Jay and his wife, Jenny, pray a simple family version with their children most nights, lighting a candle to remember that Christ is the light of the world. Jay admits it often feels ordinary, yet its formative effects come in slow and steady ways.