How Social Media Challenges Your Soul—and Gentle Ways to Thrive

Blog by Gem Fadling

Social media is a complicated gift, isn’t it? On one hand, it has enabled me to connect with some amazing women. I treasure the friendships I’ve formed, and that’s a big reason I’ve stayed.

But there’s another side too—one that brings up some deeper inner work and shows I still need to look at what’s going on inside me. Even if I were disconnected from it all, I would still have to address the discontent, jealousy, and pride that emerge when I scroll, because they will simply pop up another way.

It’s a lot to process, and yet I stay. I stay because social media has become such a regular part of life and because I do want to encourage people toward an unhurried life. Instagram is still one good way to do that.

But the game still eats away at me. Especially on Instagram, I see images of immaculate homes, inspiring vacations, flawless faces, toned bodies, and stylish clothing. Peppered among these posts are videos for ways to shop, organize, and fluff, plus ads for every kind of diet—many of which contradict each other but all claiming to be the secret to health.

And there’s nothing wrong with those things. I also like to organize, clean, wear makeup, collect recipes, and stay healthy. What I am addressing here is this question: What is the engine under the hood that drives me? The things I listed above—shopping, eating, and so forth—are all externals.

It is important that I also focus on my internal journey.

I will keep wearing makeup. I will keep wearing cute clothes. I will continue to organize and beautify my home.

AND…even more important than all that is asking myself these questions: 

• How am I noticing and collecting healthy thoughts and feelings?
• How am I clothing myself with humility and gentleness?
• How am I feeding goodness to my mind, heart, and body?

These aren’t questions intended to add pressure. They are gentle invitations to check in with myself and explore what’s helping me thrive and what’s holding me back.

This practice also reminds me that the externals don’t sustain my soul. No matter how beautiful or organized or put together my life might look on the outside, it’s what is happening on the inside that ultimately shapes my peace, my joy, and my sense of God’s presence.

Being driven by externals doesn’t work, as it leads me down the path of discontent, jealousy, and pride. And I certainly do not want to be compelled by those dynamics.

I know I don’t have to sermonize on this trio of words. Just reading them, it’s obvious that they are not helpful or productive ways forward. So instead of discontent, jealousy, and pride, let’s try:

Contentment

Gratitude

Humility

As I notice the unhealthy responses showing up when I peruse my Instagram feed, I can practice welcoming a healthier way. I can instead allow the following passages to bubble up within myself:

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. (1 Tim. 6:6-7)

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3:17)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Phil. 2:3-4)

This is what I truly desire, and I will continue to aim my thoughts, heart, and body toward this goodness. Here are three practical ideas as you engage social media:

Practice a Sacred Pause Before Scrolling

Before opening your social media apps, pause for a moment to check in with yourself and ask: What am I seeking right now? Connection? Encouragement? Inspiration? Take a deep breath, offer a short prayer, and enter your online space with intention. This sacred pause might help you approach social media as a tool rather than allowing it to become a mean boss.

Pivot to Gratitude Post-Scroll

After spending time on social media, take a few minutes to reflect on something specific you are grateful for in your own life. Whether it’s a conversation, a moment of beauty, or a simple joy, let this practice re-center your heart on the abundance you already have. Gratitude gently shifts your focus away from comparison and toward contentment.

Curate Your Feed for Soulful Living

Take time to evaluate who and what you follow. Are these accounts nurturing your inner peace, fostering gratitude, and aligning with your values? If not, consider unfollowing or muting them. Replace them with voices that inspire humility, contentment, and gratitude. Intentionally curating your feed turns it into a space of encouragement rather than envy or competition. 

For Reflection: 

• How might you describe what comes up in you when you spend time on social media? What do those feelings invite you to notice?
• In what ways could you cultivate gratitude and contentment this week, particularly in areas where comparison has crept in?
• What would it look like today to let go of external pressures and practice humility and simplicity?