Stressed or Tired? It Might Be Time to Let the Dust Settle

Blog by Gem Fadling

Every year I like to share with you about our July mini-sabbatical. It’s something we’ve been doing for about six years now, and it continues to provide a much-needed annual reset.

In that spirit, I keep hearing people talk about “unhurried” as something they might try on later once things slow down. As far as I can tell, that won’t happen. Many retirees and grandparents are just as busy these days as young adults and working parents. Everyone has something going on and “later” never comes.

Alan and I are as effective these days as we’ve ever been in our lives. That is not a brag. It is a blessing. We are thriving in ministry in our sixties, and we are still dreaming and moving forward to what we believe God has given us to do.

We hear from so many leaders who are stressed, tired, and burning out. And we get it. Life is hard, ministry is harder, and when we add our own unhealthy inner dynamics, we end up with a perfect storm of overwhelm.

I’m not trying to minimize any of that. I know what the culture is like in our country and around the world, let alone what’s going on in our own hearts, families, and communities.

This is why we take a yearly mini-sabbatical. For 30 days, I get to remember I am not the center of the universe. Everything in my life does not spin around me. I do not hold all things together. This is good for my ego to know.

I allow my truest self to rest, to be held by God. I allow the dust to settle in my soul. The soul does not move at breakneck pace. The soul can only move at the natural pace of an organism (us). We are not computers. We are natural, created beings. I continue to need that reminder.

I’m on this journey for the long haul. We were sharing with a friend the other day that we have no real plans to retire. We’ll lead Unhurried Living as long as it seems good to do so. But even in what we might call semi-retirement, we still hope to be spiritual directors, mentors, speakers, and even book writers.

If that is our desire, then a yearly pause is the least we can do so that our souls and bodies can continue to thrive through the decades.

Here’s a mic drop from St. Clare of Assisi:

”Our body is not made of iron. Our strength is not that of stone. Live and hope in the Lord, and let your service be according to reason.”

So we’ve borrowed our yearly model from Mother Teresa’s rule for her community:

In regards to personal retreat: one day per week, one week per month, one month per year, one year per six back at the motherhouse “where in contemplation and penance together with solitude she can gather in the spiritual strength, which she might have used up in the service of the poor.” (Mother Teresa. Come Be My Light. Doubleday, 2007, p. 345)

Mother Teresa speaks of “gathering in spiritual strength.” She is highlighting that it takes something real and substantial to bear up under our work and ministry. I take this to mean that it isn’t a luxury to make space for rest, prayer, and refilling—it is a necessity.

She acknowledges that our spiritual strength might get “used up in the service of the poor.” We might not be working with the same kinds of poor people as she did, but Mother Teresa often spoke of the poverty of the West, which is a poverty of spirit.

One of my deepest desires is to be in this good life, loving and serving God and others with gladness and singleness of heart. And I’m going to do everything I can to assist that process.

Each year, I acknowledge that not everyone can take 30 days in a row. Alan and I are empty-nest entrepreneurs in the second half of life, and we decide our own schedule.

And yet…you do have some agency in your own life, don’t you? There is likely some amount of time in any given day, week, month, or year when you could choose to power down and give the dust of your own mind and body a chance to settle.

If you detect a hint of passion and desperation in my tone, you are correct. My sense of urgency on this topic is growing day by day. The more I watch the news and the more I speak with actual leaders (some of you, in fact), the more I know that we must make some changes in our paradigms about time itself and the patterns of our own lives.

We are not going to avoid the breaking point if we don’t awaken to our patterns of excess and choose to simplify in some manner. I know the list you could make. Many of you have shared your list of overwhelm with us. And my heart is breaking for you.

I’m simply suggesting that we don’t add anymore undue pressure onto an already stress-inducing list. The oxygen mask analogy applies here: Put on your own mask first before you help the person next to you. It’s Airplane Rules 101, and I believe it is also Life Rules 101.

This is why we take a mini-sabbatical. We want to stay healthy enough to serve you for many more years. We want to love and play with our future grandchildren. We want to love and be with our family for as long as possible. And we want to be healthy, present, and thriving while we do so.

How about you?

For Reflection: 

• How do you want to live?
• What changes are you willing to make to help that process along?
• When might your next “let the dust settle” time be? How long? What will you do? Where will you go?

My heart is for you. I want for you what I listed for myself. May you have a long and beautiful life, present to all your loved ones and your work. And may you love and serve God and others with gladness and singleness of heart.