When You Want Clarity but God Invites Trust

Blog by Gem Fadling

Whenever I hear myself or anyone else talking about wanting clarity, I think of a story I heard years ago about Mother Teresa.

Jesuit priest John Kavanaugh was spending time at Mother Teresa’s Home for the Dying in Calcutta. One morning after Mass, she asked him what she could do for him. He asked her to pray for him: “Pray that I have clarity.”

She said no. 

When he asked why, she told him that clarity was the very thing he was clinging to and needed to let go of. Kavanaugh responded that she herself seemed to have the kind of clarity he was longing for. She laughed and said, “I have never had clarity; what I’ve always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust.”

I think about that exchange often because I understand Kavanaugh’s request. I like clarity too. I like knowing where I’m going and having some sense of how I’m going to get there. When I’m facing a decision or wondering what’s next, asking God for clarity feels like a pretty good prayer to me.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to discern where God may be leading us. But I wonder if sometimes what we are really asking for is certainty. We want to know enough about what is ahead that we can feel confident moving toward it. 

I’ve been thinking about the difference between clarity and trust as two different kinds of walks with Jesus.

Clarity feels a little like taking a daytime walk. Before I set out, I ask Jesus for a map and a compass. He shows me the path and maybe even highlights the route in yellow. Now I can see where I’m going and I know what’s ahead of me.

The interesting thing is that once I have the map, it would be very easy to take off without him. Not because I don’t want Jesus with me, but because I don’t really need him to show me where to go anymore. I have the directions. I can see the path ahead.

Trust feels more like a nighttime walk.

Within the darkness, Jesus doesn’t hand me a flashlight. He carries it himself and walks close beside me. The light only illuminates the part of the path we’re on right now, so I can’t see very far ahead. I don’t know what is around the next corner or exactly where this path is taking us.

Of course, I’d still really like to know. I might even ask Jesus to shine the flashlight farther down the path so I can get a glimpse of what’s coming. But instead, he stays near and gives me enough light for where I am.

There’s something about that image that helps me.

When I am asking for clarity, I often want Jesus to show me the way.

When I am learning to trust, I remember that Jesus said, “I am the way.”

These are two very different dynamics.

Trust means I may not get to know in advance how everything will turn out. I may have to make a decision without being completely certain it is the right one. I may have to take a step and then wait before I know what the step after that will be. This is why we teach reflection and discernment.

This way of being can feel uncomfortable, especially when the decision has long-term implications for our lives. We don’t want to get it wrong or to miss God. Sometimes we imagine there is one perfect path God has laid out for us and our job is to somehow figure out what it is.

But maybe walking with Jesus is less like solving a puzzle and more like an actual relationship. He isn’t standing at the end of the path waiting to see whether we choose correctly. He is walking with us.

Instead of putting all my energy into trying to solve my future, I can pay attention to the life I am living with God right now. I can notice what he is doing in me and respond to what seems to be mine to do today. I don’t always have to know what comes next.

Maybe that is part of what Mother Teresa understood. We know from her own testimony that for most of her ministry life she had no felt sense of God’s presence with her. A heartfelt prayer emerged from within her: “I thirst.” She decided to share in Christ’s thirst on the cross, trusting God for each moment she spent in prayer and service.

There will be times when God gives us what we might call clarity, and I’m grateful when he does. But there will also be long stretches of life when we simply cannot see very far ahead. Not knowing doesn’t necessarily mean something has gone wrong. It may simply mean God is inviting us to trust.

You don’t have to solve your future right now, and you don’t have to see it clearly before you can move forward. Simply continue becoming the kind of person who can walk with Jesus into whatever comes. Our inner transformation and our connection to Jesus make this possible.

Jesus might not hand you a map. But he will walk with you. And maybe that is better than clarity.

For Reflection: 

• What does clarity vs. trust mean to you?
• How do you feel when you picture the dark path illumined by a small light?
• How does that feeling differ when you remember Jesus is by your side?

Gem Fadling is a founding partner of Unhurried Living, Inc., a non-profit that trains people to rest deeper, live fuller and lead better. She is a trained Spiritual Director and a Certified Life Coach who trains people at the intersection of spiritual leadership and soul care. She co-leads PACE, a two-year leadership formation journey that helps leaders live and lead from spiritual depth rather than depletion. Gem is the co-host of the Unhurried Living Podcast as well as the author of Hold That Thought and co-author of What Does Your Soul Love? Her work has appeared in Propel Women and Our Daily Bread. To connect with Gem and find resources for soul care and leadership, visit unhurriedliving.com or find her on Instagram and LinkedIn.